


Memories

by halfpastmonsoon



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Daydreaming, Deep Conversations, Fluff, Gen, M/M, so this is like him remembering and actual present stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfpastmonsoon/pseuds/halfpastmonsoon
Summary: Kanou goes through various memories of Mihashi while on his way to see him again





	Memories

Kanou was happy.

He was also sort of nervous, but that didn’t matter as much to him.

At that specific moment, he happened to be on a train. He was soon to get off and walk by foot. He had to stay conscious of his surroundings enough to not miss his station, but he kept getting lost in thought. Couldn’t help it, really. He was also smiling, which probably looked kind of worrisome to some of the people around him. What might he be up to, smiling to himself non-stop? In reality, neither did he notice that he’s grinning, nor that he’s being watched with mild concern. None of that mattered to him.

Mihashi.

He was going to see him again, so soon. From time to time, he would take out his phone and look at the text again, making sure he’s not making a mistake. But no, Mihashi really had invited him over since they both had some time off for once.  
Perhaps things would be back to how they should be.  
‘We were always together before he switched schools’ was something Kanou had said and something that had been on his mind. Whenever he thought about childhood, he thought about Mihashi. There were many things that he could have memories of, yet what he really enjoyed thinking about was the time spent with Mihashi, for some reason.

-

Kanou met Mihashi on accident, technically. He was playing baseball with the guys, and he noticed someone was watching the game from behind the bushes. He made the decision to talk to the kid, just in case it would give him another person to play with. Kanou was an extremely straightforward person, and he didn’t even consider that he could use an excuse to approach the stranger. He just asked the team to give him a second, and walked up to Mihashi, to which the other reacted by flinching. But not running away, at least.  
‘Hey!’ Kanou stopped a foot away from him and cocked his head to the side. Looking back, Mihashi was definitely scared of him. At first he didn’t move at all and Kanou got slightly worried. Soon enough, though, he walked out of the bush to face him. He refused to look Kanou in the eyes, but at least he could see him now. Mihashi was smaller than him, not just shorter, but considerably thinner.

‘You were watching us play, weren’t you? I noticed you.’ Kanou smiled while Mihashi’s face went pale. ‘Would you want to join us?’  
The question was asked casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world (to Kanou it truly was), but it startled Mihashi, in fact, he was so shocked he looked Kanou in the eyes for the first time, his mouth gaping open. Kanou couldn’t help noticing he had a really interesting eye colour.

‘D-do you really want to play with me?’  
Kanou raised his eyebrows. Without hesitation, he nodded. Mihashi clenched his fists and nodded his head really eagerly. ‘Then I will join you!’ you know how sometimes people exclaim something but they’re technically not being loud? That’s how it sounded.

‘Great! Oh, by the way, my name is Kanou Shuugo’ he held out his hand and smiled. Mihashi was surprised, but he took his hand and gently shook it.  
‘M-my name is Mihashi Ren!’  
‘Come on, you have to meet the rest of the guys!’ he said as he started walking back towards them, Mihashi’s hand still in his.  
And that’s how it started, the longest and strongest friendship in his life.

-

Kanou was sharply awakened from his daydream because somebody accidentally stepped on his foot and was now apologising. Ah, does that really matter?  
He looked around, suddenly afraid he might have missed the station. But no, there was still one left. He sighed in relief. He didn’t really mind walking, but really, he just wanted to be at Mihashi’s house as soon as only possible.  
Given there was one station left, that meant he had ten more minutes to waste on the train, he texted Mihashi, saying he should be at his house in less than half an hour. Twenty was probably more like it, but just in case… He didn’t want Mihashi to worry if something came up and slowed him down.

-

Their friendship wasn’t baseball-exclusive. They would often just hang out at each other’s homes, or just walk around. Kanou was practically an authority, recognised as the leader of the boys, respected by all of them. From perspective, it seems there’s always been sort of air of leadership around him, that he never worked for, or understood, but nevertheless enjoyed.  
His relationship with Mihashi was different from that, though. Perhaps it was because of Mihashi’s nature, so different from everyone around him, that Kanou never intended to dominate. For some reason, he just enjoyed spending time with Mihashi, sometimes not even talking. There were days when they would simply lean their backs against a tree and sit in silence for a long time.  
Kanou had no problem with words. He was honest and straightforward. Mihashi, thought, often found communication problematic. And it was satisfying to let them have some silence for his sake. At times, Kanou would take his hand, just to assure him he’s there and not going anywhere. Somehow, he thought Mihashi might need that.

There was also physical contact, that Kanou generally didn’t seek and Mihashi seemed to be scared of, to an extent. There are exceptions even to such rules, and for some reason, Kanou enjoyed small displays of attention, usually holding hands, only with Mihashi. It took some getting used to, on both sides, but after some time they mastered the art. Rarely, Kanou would rest his head on Mihashi’s shoulder on the quiet days.

One day, he had quite a different idea, though.

‘Hey, I wonder if kissing is really so nice…’

Mihashi didn’t answer at first, considering the issue.

‘W-well, people seem to think of it as a good thing.’

Neither of them knew what they’re really talking about. Parents kiss. People on movies kiss. They seem to enjoy it, so it’s probably pleasant. That’s it for theory.  
‘I want to check that. Just to see, I guess?’ Kanou looked at Mihashi with no specific intent whatsoever. After all, it’s probably a normal thing to think about? He guessed so.  
‘Well, um’ Mihashi looked back at him, somewhere between nervous and excited ‘if you want to, we could- we could see-’ his face suddenly went red and he covered it with his hands and turned away from Kanou.  
‘Really?!’ The other, though, was simply ecstatic. ‘If you really want to, that’d be great!’

Mihashi took the hands off his cheeks and looked at Kanou again. He, too, was blushing, much less noticeably, though, and he seemed happy but…nervous too? Shuu-chan never gets nervous, though.  
Mihashi nodded his head, but neither of them moved.  
‘I’m not sure how to do this, Ren, but…’ Kanou leaned forward and closed his eyes, which prompted Mihashi to close his too. He waited.

…Until Kanou’s nose bumped into his.

‘Ow.’ Kanou covered his nose with his hands and chuckled. ‘I really don’t know how to do this after all.’ He kept giggling, and Mihashi, now covering his own nose, couldn’t help laughing as well. They both ended up lying on the ground, their noses still covered, their eyes filled with happy tears.  
Kanou calmed down and sat back up.

‘Can I…try again? I will be careful this time, I promise.’

Mihashi sat next to him, closer than before, and nodded. This time, he didn’t close his eyes.  
Kanou cupped his cheeks with his hands, examined his face thoroughly, and leaned forward. This time, he didn’t miss. Mihashi looked at him for a moment before closing his eyes. His hands were clenched into fists and resting on the ground. He felt Kanou’s hair tickling his forehead a bit.

The kiss lasted approximately 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. And even then, it’s not like he wanted it to end.  
Kanou pulled away, his hands still on Mihashi’s cheeks.

‘Hmm’ he hummed while looking at the other’s blushing face ‘that was good. Thanks, Ren.’ His lips formed a gentle smile. ‘I think I have to go home for dinner…’ he let go of Mihashi’s face and stood up, not taking his eyes off his face. ‘Bye, Ren.’  
He was about to walk away, when Mihashi cried out at him.  
‘Shuu-chan, wait!’ he stood up as well.  
‘What is it, Ren?’  
‘Can…’ he bit his bottom lip until it bled ‘can we do it again? N-not now I mean!! But. Someday.’  
Kanou stared at him for a moment, not blinking at all, before chuckling. A smile was back on his face.  
‘Sure! Whenever you want! See ya!’ He waved at him, and before Mihashi could wave back, he was already running back home.

For a long time, he couldn’t believe that wasn’t a dream.

-

Beep!

That’s it. His destination. He managed to not miss it. He got up from his seat and left the vehicle just in time. He also noticed, just then, that Mihashi replied to his text. It just said ‘Ok! See you soon, Shuu-chan!’, but it still made him smile.  
The nickname always makes him smile.  
It always has and always will, unless Mihashi decides to drop it.  
He wouldn’t though.  
Ah, wait a second! Meeting up with him means he will hear the nickname again, after all this time! He grinned in the middle of the station, until the signal of the train went off, startling him. Where now…? Ah, right. Let’s go.

-

That wasn’t their last kiss, of course. They kept doing that, from time to time. Nobody really knew, and Kanou was content with that. It was amazing to see how happy it made Mihashi…and him, too.  
Actually, they kept it up in junior high, as well. At first, anyway.  
They found themselves drifting apart not because there was nothing positive between them. They were just both focused on practice. Mihashi – because he was the ace, Kanou because…he wanted to improve. It was important to him for a number of reasons.  
The entire team seemed to accept him as the authority (ah, the curse) and think of him as the person who should have been the ace. He realised that.  
He, himself, wasn’t so sure.  
It wasn’t that he didn’t think he’s skilled.  
He just knew Mihashi, though nobody wanted to think so, was even stronger than him.  
He wouldn’t be the ace if he had no skill. That, and Kanou asked him about what he can do. And he also saw with his own eyes. Nobody else seemed to see, but he – did.  
It was flattering to be told he’s amazing, for sure. But one thing is that he accepted the decision to keep Mihashi as the ace, and another is that he himself could see it was a good one.  
Or would be, rather, had the team accepted him.  
He would always tell them Mihashi is amazing, but that’s one thing they didn’t want to listen to him talk about.  
He felt a certain sense of guilt, but he was never one to let such things affect him. He had a goal to reach, and however much he wanted to help, he couldn’t.  
That was that, until he found out Mihashi decided to switch schools.  
Sure, they weren’t the closest in junior high. But they were still together. And that meant he’d be away. Unless he came back…and there was a way he saw for that happening.  
He was aware the reason why Mihashi left was the team. But maybe…? Maybe he could at least keep playing? It will be a completely different experience from what he had in Mihoshi…  
And so, he let his emotions take over, for the first time.  
He told Mihashi to not give up.  
And it worked.

-

Hmm…it’s easy to get lost there, he could hardly remember which way to go. He looked around and chose what he hoped was the right way.  
A quick look at the watch…he still had 17 minutes. A certain excitement filled his whole body. He fixed one of his backpack straps, took a deep breath, and started walking.  
So soon.  
Let’s just hope no accident happens.  
-  
The news of a practice game against Nishiura was exactly what Kanou hoped for. An opportunity to prove his worth as the ace, or prove Mihashi’s worth!  
They can’t both happen at the same time, he was aware of that.  
If he loses, that means he was right about Mihashi being amazing, and the team will have to admit he was right all along…and maybe Mihashi will come back?  
If he wins, though…that means he deserves the position that Mihashi threw away for him to take.  
That was it, the test.  
He was really excited.  
The rest of the team wasn’t. But he kept practicing, thinking about it, looking forward to it. He was extremely serious.  
He knew how important it is for them both.

Deep down, he was also happy to see Mihashi again. And his new team. He kept wondering what they are like.  
When the day finally came, Mihashi was the first thing he saw. Without a second thought, he waved and called out.  
But Mihashi ran away.  
Why?  
That was, again, something he couldn’t let distract him. He has a game to win. And he’s going to do it.  
Except it didn’t go as planned, at all.

He had to yell at his team. Because they weren’t taking the game seriously. He didn’t understand it, at all. Why did they underestimate Mihashi? What make them think it will be an easy win?  
He was frustrated.  
Not only back then. The frustration never went away, really.  
And then…  
Then his heart was broken.  
Mihashi didn’t want to come back, even though he showed the team he really is great! Why couldn’t they be together again? What he said was ‘won’t you be lonely,’ but he knew that was not the case.

From the beginning, Kanou was the lonely one.  
When he thought about it later (after crying about it for just a moment), he realised that Mihashi really has reasons to be comfortable where is.  
And he didn’t have the right to ruin that just because he missed him.  
And he did, a lot.  
But that, too, he threw away and didn’t let himself think about.  
He had a team to lead to victory.  
A team that believed in him.  
Mihashi had his own, who did the same for him.  
And that was that.

-

Kanou stopped at the sight of a red light.  
Thank God he stopped staring at the sky or his feet just in time.  
A quick glance at the watch…11 minutes and he’s closer than he expected to.  
His heart started pounding. He hadn’t felt such excitement since…

-

Kanou won.

He proved his worth in a spectacular way, at last.

He was happy. He was satisfied. But there was an issue he considered.

Should he tell Mihashi? Probably, yes. He still thought of him as a friend. If there was someone who would be happy about it, it was him.  
It took him some time to bring himself to send the message, though. He sat outside with the phone in his hand.  
‘I won!’ he sent eventually. Short and straight to the point. He put the phone on the ground and relaxed. It might take some time to-  
Soon enough, he heard the signal.  
He read the message curiously. So, he’s saying he won, too. Good! Wait a second.

‘Shuu-chan’ he didn’t even notice when he raised his voice. It seemed like somebody was talking to him, but he couldn’t make out any words. Not like it mattered. Nothing mattered.  
Mihashi used the nickname! The childhood nickname! The nickname that holds so many positive memories! His nickname…that he never expected to see again, after everything that happened.  
But it was there.  
The world around him disappeared. He could only feel a wave of happiness, some sort of hope. He also clearly smiled so hard his face almost began to hurt.  
Ren…

-

He stopped because he could feel his face heating up. Already…?  
He looked around.  
There it was. Mihashi’s house.  
He was outside, waiting for him.

Kanou’s heart skipped a beat as he started running without even thinking about it. A big smile appeared on his face, but it’s not like he noticed. He waved his hand at Mihashi, who was now standing 5 meters away right in front of him, raising his hand as if to wave back.  
Kanou stopped exactly when he was a foot away, panting and still smiling. He wasn’t sure if he’s…allowed to act like he did when they were kids. If he were to go with that, he’d be hugging Mihashi already.  
But he wasn’t. He was kind of scared he could break him or whatever.

He was more careful now.

That’s the first opportunity he had to look at Mihashi from up close since junior high. He wasn’t as fragile as he thought he’d be. He also…grew taller? A bit? Kanou was still taller though. His hair was as messy as always, and his eyes still unique. And pretty.  
Before he could notice anything else, and before he was even aware what’s happening, Mihashi was hugging him, practically hanging off his neck. Subconsciously, he wrapped his arms around his waist, keeping him closer. His eyes closed and he hid his face in Mihashi’s shoulder.  
That’s when he heard it. ‘Shuu-chan…’ practically whispered into his ear. He gulped and shuddered, just a bit. ‘…you’re back.’ That was even quieter. His response, mumbled into Mihashi’s neck, was simply ‘Yeah’.

Mihashi let go of him, but took his hand instead. Kanou followed him into the house. He was greeted by Mihashi’s mom, and of course, told things about how long it’d been, and how much he’d grown, and the like. Mihashi’s whole family knew him, after all, it was inevitable.  
Mihashi’s mom at least let them leave quickly. Such a cool parent, really.  
Mihashi led him into his room, which was unusually tidy. He gestured towards the bed, inviting him to take the most comfortable seat in the house. Kanou couldn’t help chuckling, but he did sit down. Not getting his eyes off Mihashi the entire time. Was he nervous…? He mostly seemed to be happy.  
‘Hey, Ren’ he said that casually but Mihashi jumped in his seat (which was next to Kanou, literally) ‘thanks for inviting me over.’  
Mihashi nodded eagerly. ‘It’s no problem! I really wanted to talk to Shuu-chan…’  
‘I wanted to talk to you too’ Kanou stretched his arms and leaned back onto the bed, putting his arms behind his head. ‘I really missed you, you know.’  
Mihashi inhaled loudly, but stayed quiet for a moment. Kanou knew that means he’s getting ready to ask a question. Probably an important one. So he waited.  
‘S-so…Shuu-chan wasn’t mad at me…’ Kanou noticed he clenched his fists, which were resting on his knees. He blinked a few times and raised his eyebrows slightly.  
‘Yeah, of course I wasn’t mad, Ren. Why would I be?’ he knew what’s the probable answer, given the circumstances, but still…  
‘B-but…I was the ace, even though everyone knew you are better…’ Mihashi finally looked up at him with wet, scared eyes. Kanou sat up straight again, cross-legged, so close to Mihashi their knees were touching.  
‘Ren,’ he covered Mihashi’s fist with his hand ‘it wasn’t your fault. And anyway, you deserved it! You’re great! I could never be mad at you for that.’  
Mihashi was quiet for a while, still looking Kanou in the eyes. Kanou could see he probably wanted to protest, but he still didn’t. Maybe…maybe he finally believed him? His heart raced in his chest.  
‘O-ok if- if you say so, I…I will believe you, but-’ he gulped ‘but I still think you deserved it more, and…and I was selfish. I could have given up the mound but, but I didn’t.’ He wiped his face with his other hand, since the first one was still held by Kanou. ‘I wasn’t a good friend, Shuu-chan, but- but if you aren’t mad, then I, I’m glad…’ he smiled and Kanou’s heart melted. That’s the thing he expected would pop up, but he never expected the issue to be this easy to solve.  
‘Don’t worry about it, Ren. It’s fine. I’m sorry too.’  
Mihashi’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘What would you be sorry about?’ he exclaimed, genuinely surprised.  
Kanou let go of his hand and leaned back again, staring at the ceiling.  
‘I wanted you back in Mihoshi. It was a bad idea, and I shouldn’t have reacted in the way I did. By the way,’ he looked at Mihashi again ‘I’m really glad you found such a good team. They seem to be a bunch of good guys.’  
Mihashi nodded his head again ‘Yeah!! They’re really nice!! Also, don’t feel bad about it, Shuu-chan!! I wish I could have come back, because, I know you missed me and-’ he paused for a moment ‘I missed you too’ he whispered.

Kanou was back to looking at the ceiling with a big embarrassing smile on his face. He suddenly felt movement on the bed, but didn’t pay attention to it, until he felt something warm right next to him. He looked to the side. Mihashi was lying next to him in foetal position, his arms and legs curled up awkwardly. Kanou turned around to face him, in the same position. He couldn’t look away from Mihashi’s face. His features changed a bit, but it was still him. Kanou’s Mihashi. With the pretty green-hazel eyes with big bags under them (has he been sleeping well…?), the messy hair, the upturned nose, now covered in a few small freckles, and also the mouth, pale and chapped, the one that he used to-  
‘Shuu-chan.’  
‘…Yeah?’  
‘I think you’re blushing, is-, is everything fine?’  
Kanou just nodded his head. They were supposed to talk, yet they were lying in silence, which certainly wasn’t unpleasant, though.  
‘Hey, Shuu-chan?’  
Whenever Mihashi said his name out loud, Kanou felt something warm in his chest. Such a pleasant feeling.  
‘Yeah?’ he didn’t mean to whisper, but it came out like that. Oh, well.  
‘Do you think we could, um,’ Mihashi’s face turned red and he covered it with his hands. That sure reminded Kanou of something, but he decided to keep quiet and just wait.  
‘I just thought that, since you’re here, maybe we could check if,’ Mihashi was talking through the fingers still covering his mouth ‘if it’s still…still good, I mean-’  
Kanou waited for a moment. He knew what’s on Mihashi’s mind, because he was thinking about the same thing.  
‘Are you talking about kissing?’ he asked eventually, in a completely casual tone.  
Mihashi took the hands away from his face and looked at Kanou in awe. Then, as per usual, he nodded his head.  
Kanou leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Sort of a warm up, he guessed. God, it really feels like they’re kids again, and can do things innocently and without thinking about other people and their own rivalry.  
‘Okay, I think…I think we should sit up.’

That being said, he did. He was cross-legged again, his hands in his crotch. Mihashi was soon sitting right in front of him, in the same position. Kanou closed his eyes. If it was supposed to be done, it had to be done right.  
He leaned forward and…  
…his nose bumped into Mihashi’s.  
Kanou chuckled. ‘Okay, that’s not really the part of it I wanted to recreate.’  
He cocked his head a bit to the left, and this time, he managed to not miss the target.  
He smiled into the kiss and touched Mihashi’s cheek with his hand. So warm. Hm. His hand slid down onto Mihashi’s neck. Warm as well. And it seems that Mihashi flinched under the touch.  
‘Sorry’ he mumbled into his lips, but Mihashi shook his head, causing Kanou to lose balance. His face landed on Mihashi’s chest. He didn’t move it away, though. He just giggled and wrapped his arms around Mihashi’s waist.  
‘We’re out of practice, aren’t we?’  
He could feel Mihashi nod as he wrapped his arms around Kanou’s shoulders.  
‘I guess we don’t need to only talk, right?’  
The only response was another nod.


End file.
